Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
