If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
