So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize