haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
