That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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