you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
