I'm really into asian looking animals
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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