all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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