So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize