Im at strip club and am horny
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
