my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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