Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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