Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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