Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
