Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
