i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize