Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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