her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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