im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish i was in the wii world.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
