I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
