so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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