So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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