Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
