and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize