She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its not stalking. its research.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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