and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize