He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
