meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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