This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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