At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
