Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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