I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
