and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
so much tequila, so little girl.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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