I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
