i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize