There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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