i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
