Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
