She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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