Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
