How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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