yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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