did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
