she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
