i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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