they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
