Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
