unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
