p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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