super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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