I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
