i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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