I am puke
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
