i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
