1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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