I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize