don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
