Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
