Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
