Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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