And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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