Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
